Accidents Happen To Good People
by BigG1999
Summary: A 'what if' to my Accidents Happen story. Clarke's dead and Lexa doesn't deal well. Really sad and depressing. Don't read if you aren't ready for it. Octavian & Reya.
1. Lexa: The End, Too Soon

"Lexa?" Raven questions, looking at the younger woman.

Lexa does her best to avoid her eyes, focusing on the floor.

"Raven, just… Please," she begs, tears in her eyes.

"Lexa, what are you doing?" Raven questions, following the brunette out of the room, mindful of the child on her hip.

"Lexa? Lexa!" she continues, following her into the living room.

"Lexa! Stop!" she orders, grabbing her arm and spinning her around.

"I can't do it!" Lexa yells, causing the blonde on Raven's hip to cry. Raven quickly hushes the baby before looking at the women again. Tears stream down Lexa's face as she shakes her head.

"I can't do it without her Raven. I can't even look at my children. I just… I can't. I'm sorry," she says, turning on her heel and running out of the room.

"Lexa! _LEXA_!" she yells, running to the door before crying interrupts her thoughts.

"Shh," she mumbles to the baby in her arms, hugging her closer as she takes out her phone.

"O?" she questions, trying and failing to keep the panic out of her voice.

"Lexa just dropped the twins off at my house. I think, I think she's going to kill herself."

"I can't follow her, I'm with the kids. Please O. I… I'm scared," she confesses, trying to keep her tears from falling.

"I've got it," Octavia nods, hanging up the phone and grabbing her keys.

She doesn't bother to clean up the ice cream or change from the sweats or try to deal with her greasy hair. She forgets to close the door, remembering halfway down the stairs but not caring enough to go back as she rushes to where she hopes Lexa is.

Lexa takes a deep breath, looking down at the sapphire ring in her hand. Her legs dangle from the bridge. Their first kiss was here. Lexa brought Clarke here because it was the best place to see the stars in the city. She had done her homework and after rambling about Persephone and Hades, Clarke had kissed her.

"Lexa?" Octavia calls out, startling the seated brunette.

"Don't come any closer," Lexa says, green eyes burning into the older girl.

"Okay," she nods, walking to the edge herself and sitting.

"What are you doing here?" Lexa questions, studying the brunette.

"You know why I'm here Lex," she sighs, "can I move closer?"

Lexa bites the inside of her cheek, but nods, allowing one of Clarke's best friends closer to her.

"You know, you're not alone, right?" she questions, her voice cracking.

"I can't do it without her," she answers, looking down at the ring.

"I loved him."

"Lincoln?" Lexa questions, he was in the car too.

"You know, I never said it out loud but… I have always looked up to you and Clarke. You're soulmates and everybody knows that. I would never try to say we had anything close to what you guys did but… I thought he was my Clarke," she confesses, ignoring the tears running down her face.

Lexa lets out a shaky breath, tears dripping onto her hands.

"I can't even look at my daughter's O. They look just like her. What kind of a childhood would that be? One mother dead, the other can't stand to look at you. I can't do that to my children. To Clarke's children. I _can't,_ " she chokes on her words, letting out a sob.

"So you're just going to leave them with no parents?"

"They have Abby," Lexa nods, trying to hard to convince herself.

"They need a mom Lexa. Please," she begs.

Lexa shakes her head, closing her eyes and making a fist around the ring.

 _"I can't do it without her."_

Octavia sits there for hours crying. Bellamy finds her there and takes her back to Raven's. He deals with the police, then calls Abby and tells her so the girls won't have to.

"How are you so strong? Why didn't you just… Jump in after her?" Raven whispers that night.

"I'm going to raise my kid. They deserve a chance to find their Clarke," Octavia whispers, curling into Raven.

Raven nods, wrapping her arms around the broken woman. She presses a kiss to her forehead.

"I don't know if there's ever going to be a love like theirs," she mumbles.

"You can't leave me Raven. I won't be able to take it," she confesses, tears falling again.

"I'm not going anywhere O. I promise, alright? I'll be here every step of the way for you, for their kids, for your kid. I'm not going anywhere. As long as you don't."

"I promise."

"Our promise has to be as strong as their love."

"It is."

 ***Eight years later***

"Grandma!"

Abby smiles at her granddaughter, "yes sweetheart?"

"Can we go see aunt Raven and aunt O?" she questions.

"And Lex?" her sister adds.

"Sure girls," she laughs at their over-eagerness.

"We're going to see our moms!"

"Oh that sounds so nice sweetie," Abby smiles, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Yeah, we get ice cream too!"

 ***Eight years later***

"Aunt Raven," the sixteen-year-old mumbles.

Raven sighs, sitting next to the girls, "I guess you're old enough for the truth."

"I think you are," Octavia agrees, sitting down next to her wife.

"Finally!"

"It's not a happy story kiddo's, you get that right?"

"Yeah…"

"Your parents… God they were the best. We knew Clarke first, which you already know. We were childhood friends and she was such a good person."

"We meet your other mother years later. Your mom picked her up at a bar. Lexa had just lost her girlfriend and Clarke had a thing for fixing people."

"We kinda adopted Lexa into the group. She was just a kid, she wasn't even old enough to be in that bar, but she was a smart little thing. She just fit."

"It took a few years before they realized they were deeply in love, but it was clear as day to anybody else."

"Like you two?"

Raven blushes, hiding her face by kissing Octavia's hand.

"I mean, kinda," Octavia mumbles.

"We love each other a lot, but I would never say we are on the same level as your parents," Raven confesses.

"Yeah, basically," she agrees.

"But, off topic. They kinda had a one night stand, and that's what made them realize they were in love."

"Classy," one teen laughs.

"We were in our twenties, shut it!" Raven defends with a playful push.

"So what next?"

"So then they found out that you existed. It was a miracle. I remember Lexa asked if you were even hers because of how unlikely it would happen."

"But they were over the moon. Lexa was a bit overwhelmed, she was only twenty two, but she was happy. She asked Clarke to marry her when they found out that there were two of you."

"But, our parents weren't married?"

"No, they weren't. Lexa convinced Clarke to wait until you guys were old enough to be in it. They hadn't decided an exact day, Clarke was pushing for when you were five, but Lexa wanted eight."

"Lexa would've won, but that's besides the point. They were happy. So in love and they had you. They just took care of you two like they did each other, perfectly."

"Ten months of motherhood under their belts, they were ready for a night out. We arranged for them to have a night out."

"I picked up Lexa, and Lincoln, my boyfriend at the time, picked up Clarke."

"I watched you guys, and Abby supervised."

"Clarke and Lincoln got hit by a semi. They didn't suffer. We did."

Raven grabs her hand and rubs her back, understanding.

"Lexa tried. She really did, but she just…"

"Lexa couldn't do it without Clarke. She couldn't look at you two, because you looked so much like your mother. She knew she couldn't raise you like that. She knew you'd be safe with your grandmother. That you'd be loved. But…"

"But Lexa knew where she should be. With her soulmate."

"Soulmate?"

"If you saw them, you'd believe. Your parents were meant to be."

"Like the sky and the ground."

"Meant to be."

"Like us?"

Octavia smiles, pulling her girls into a hug, "like us."

"Woah, what'd I just walk in on?" Lex questions, raising his eyebrow at his mother's and cousins in a group hug.

"On a hug, now get your ass over here," Octavia orders, pulling her son into the hug.

* * *

"Do you believe them?" she questions her sister.

"Is it crazy if I do?"

"No. I believe them."

"Our moms were soulmates."

"Yeah, they were," she agrees.

The cloud that had been covering the moon for the last four hours suddenly moves, casting a bluish glow into the room, but neither of the girls think twice about it.


	2. Anya: The End That Never Started

A yelp of surprise escapes Raven as she is pulled into a room by her arm.

"Anya! I could've had a heart attack!" she scolds with a grin.

Anya sighs, reaching behind Raven to shut the door, forcing Raven to take a step back.

"Anya," Raven pleas, for what neither knows, as Anya presses her body against Raven's, their foreheads touching as they look at each other's lips.

Anya watches as Raven's lips part, as if in awe, but there is no other movement.

"Raven," Anya almost whines, pulling brown eyes away from her lips, snapping Raven out of her daydream.

"I need you Raven," Anya states, her hand finding it's spot on Raven's waist, brown eyes pleading.

"I can't," Raven chokes out, tears running down her face, "I can't."

"Damn it Raven," Anya sighs, pulling her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry," Raven sobs into Anya's neck.

"It's okay baby, it's okay," Anya soothes, one hand rubbing her back, the other running through her hair.

"No," Raven sobs, untangling herself from Anya.

"Raven," she mumbles tears in her eyes, watching as Raven wipes her tears away, attempting to stand tall.

"I'm married. I love my wife and child."

"You can't pretend this isn't happening! You love me!" Anya yells, tears falling.

"I love Octavia. I love Lex," Raven states, her eyes on the floor.

"She doesn't love you like I do! You don't look at her like you look at me! I deserve-"

"No. We don't deserve shit, Anya," Raven cuts her off, walking into her space.

"We didn't have our true love taken away from us Anya. Octavia deserves this. Lex had his father taken away from him, he doesn't deserve to lose a mother. Those girls think that me and O found love after their mother's deaths, we don't deserve to take any of that away. I love my wife and my son. I promised to stay with them forever," Raven states, turning on her heel and walking away.

"You," Anya states, stopping Raven in her tracks as a sob escapes, "did you promise to stay, even if it was killing you? Even if it was killing me?"

Raven sighs, "yes," and walks out the door.

Raven takes a deep breath, headed back to her son's room.

"Mama?" he questions as she enters, "I heared Auntie Anya crying, what wrong?"

"She's crying happy tears babe, she's so happy she got to see you," Raven lies, pulling his blanket back up.

"I happy too. I love her," he says, turning on his side to go back to sleep.

"You and me both bud," she sighs, pressing a kiss to his forehead and turning on his nightlight.

"Love you, buddy," she says, walking to the door.

"Love you, Mama," he replaced as she turns off the light.

Raven sighs as she closes the door, leaning against it and closing her eyes. A door opening snaps them open.

Anya stands there, her bookbag over her shoulder and suitcase rolling behind her, her face emotionless, reminding Raven of the first time they met when there was hope.

"I'm going to stay with Abby. Tell Lex I love him," she states, quietly walking downstairs and out.

Raven takes a deep breath before walking to her bedroom.

"Ray?" Octavia questions curled up in bed under their comforter.

"Sorry, Anya decided to leave so I helped her pack," she says, taking off her clothes.

Octavia raises an eyebrow, seeing through the lie. Raven ignores her, crawling into bed behind her, spooning her.

"I think she loves you Raven," Octavia whispers.

"I love you," Raven states, burying her face in Octavia's hair.

"Raven," she sighs, turning over to face the other brunette.

"I love you, Octavia. I love Lex. I... I can't lose you," Raven confesses, pulling Octavia close.

"I can't love you like she does Ray. It's been six years, I can't love you like she can."

"I don't care," Raven confesses.

"She's not coming back, is she?" Octavia questions.

A sob is her answers, "Shh, I've got you, Ray, I've got you," she soothes, rubbing Raven's back.

A sob escapes when Raven realizes she is wishing for a hand to run through her hair too.

Eventually, darkness takes over.


End file.
